¨Did I do anything??¨ The question most often asked by volunteers. The answer most likely is nothing as big as you want it to be. As a volunteer its not what you want to hear, ever. You want to feel as though you´ve made a contribution, some lasting change; that you´ve inspired goodness and righted wrongs. In some places and in some jobs, yes - maybe you do accomplish these things. But how long did you work on it? To make any sort of impact, most likely years. But for us, 3 months is nothing. Not enough time to feel what you want to feel - like you´ve changed the world. I think, as new volunteers on a global scale, we come into programs like this with high expectations; not stemming from ignorance or obnoxiousness but from naivety and inexperience with worldly dabblings. We think that when we leave, we´ll leave behind a legacy of sorts with major changes accomplished and a feeling that we´ve done something great. It´s unfortunate because these hopes and dreams get destroyed; we come to feel like our placements aren´t necessary, like what we´re doing doesn´t matter, like we can´t seem to right ANY wrongs, even small ones. Its discouraging, no doubt. And so negativity and frustration emerge, along with the thinking that ¨Maybe if I change my placement, things will be better. Go somewhere that matters. Then I´ll feel better.¨It´s not always the wrong attitude; it may acutally solve your problems. But then again it might not.

Volunteering in a sense is sort of a selfish act (not in a bad way though) - on one hand you´re trying to make the world a better place, one injustice or inequality at a time. But on the other hand, unless you get some sort of satisfactions or feeling of being a help / doing something important, you hate it. Which is kind of bad, but difficult to stop. You want to like what you´re doing because then you´re motivated to go on and pursue it further. Totally understandable. But if you don´t like it, you´re still volunteering and making small changes. Which is the main reason you volunteer. You want changes in the world for the better. Unhappiness then, partly stemming from dislike of a position, may also stem largely from when you don´t think you´re making a difference. We want measurable changes. We want to know we´re being proactive and accomplishing change. When we don´t see any difference, we think its our job - this position isn´t really necessary, there´s nothing worthwhile to do here, etc. We feel overwhelmed with a sense of...helplessness and being lost, because we´re not doing what we came here to do. It´s true that there are some placements that really are pointless; it can´t be avoided. But in general, most spots that ask for or have volunteers, NEED them for some reason. Even if you don´t see the purpose for being there. Because its the small things that matter - equal to, if not more, than the big obvious changes. Small changes are often overlooked as being insignificant, but that small change could plant the seed for future greatness. Teaching one person how to recycle and re-use materials could result in it becoming a community wide campaign; giving a positive comment and smile to a child on their artwork could be the high point of their day and encourage them to keep pursuing art and further learning. So while sitting with kids, or gardening, or putting tape all day on the back of pictures isn´t ¨glamorous¨ like we pictured, they´re small changes. Small, little, good deeds we´ve done for the day. I don´t think its wrong to want to feel like you´ve done something good or noteworthy - its in our nature and you need satisfaction and motivation to continue. But to completely ignore the tedious, boring work and look only for the fulfilling work is to overlook what volunteering is. So many great leaders in history - Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela - dedicated their lives to change. And even then, it sometimes took longer than their lives for it to be achieved. Scott Kline said it was ignorant for us to assume that we can come here and change the world, make a huge everlasting difference in our time here. But we can make small changes, that one day may accumulate to a big change. I am glad to be a volunteer. Yes its frustrating and difficult and sometimes really unfulfilling - but I know that I am doing good somehow, some way. So smile! and know that what you do matters to someone. That´s what´s important.